I surrender...

Sunday morning. I'm singing next to my husband at the beginning of our church service, worshiping alongside friends and family. 

But the truth is, my heart isn't in it. I was singing the words, and distracted by thoughts of our soon-to-be-home, my kids, friends, my discipleship team girls... thinking about almost anything except the awesome God I was praising with my words. 

Then, A.J. and the worship team began to lead us in the song
I Surrender.

The chorus is "I surrender all to you, all to you". As we repeated this a few times I realized just how empty the words were to me at that moment. I was unwilling to surrender the three most important things in my life right now, but I forced myself to imagine my feelings if these things were taken from me.

The house we've worked so hard and waited so long for...

...my precious children...

...and my best friend.

Having surrendered all of these things in my heart I was alone, clinging so much more tightly to the only hope I had left- heaven. 

But it felt... right. I wished for a moment that I could stay this way, that without competition the cup of my hope was completely poured out on heaven. 

And it struck me, that this actually IS reality. Without competition, heaven is the only thing I have any right to cling to. The only thing God promises will never be taken from me. In fact, without a shadow of a doubt, I will eventually loose everything listed above, except my promise of heaven.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me an eternal rock to stand on in the middle of this swiftly passing life.

Household Binder

Ok, I've never actually "linked" my blog with anyone else's, but this event seems more than worth it! I've recently started following the I Heart Organizing blog and I must say I am both in love and far more organized. This past month her challenge was to create a household binder. This amazing lady whipped up printables for all of us to borrow FREE this month for our own binders. You can find them here: iheartorganizing.blogspot.com-- and be sure to check out those free printable before you must pay for them on 4/9/11!!!

I loved this challenge!!! Getting all our important info in one place makes so much sense, and it's pretty :) To be honest though, anything I show you will be a copy cat of what you can find through the above link... except this!

If you would like a copy for boys click here.

If you would like a copy for girls click here.

*Please note that they won't look like the above pics until you download them. Also, be sure to select only pages 1 of 1 when you go to print*

For quite sometime I've wanted to create an inventory for my children's "grow-in-to" clothing that I have put away. This will *hopefully* prevent me from finding a "great deal" on something we already have and buying duplicates :) I can also keep track of what they do need and watch for a cute and inexpensive version before I'm buying on a need-basis. And, (because I am hopelessly anal when it comes to making even the smallest things easy on the eyes) I did my best to have my template "flow" with the other downloads from i heart organizing.

Have fun organizing!!!

She Speaks!!!

Briella said her first word last night!!!

I'd tell you what it is... but I think you'll figure it out ;)

Retreat Encouragement

I got back from an absolutely wonderful women's retreat with my church this last weekend. I've been to several now, and this was hands down my favorite year. Life has been so fast-paced lately I had been drooling for weeks over the thought of some time away, and although I am STILL exhausted from talking and giggling until 2am both nights, this answered my needs in that quarter :)

The factor that took this retreat over the top, though, was our speaker Dawn Smith Jordan. 

This woman has been through some of the most horrific ordeals I can imagine (her sister was kidnapped and brutally murdered at 17), undergone deep struggle over forgiveness and trusting God's plan, emerging with one of the most genuinely sweet spirits I have ever met. She always seemed ready to burst with joy, and so encouraged me!

It is funny though (in kind of an evil way), how the enemy lies in wait at the bottom of the mountain. After a weekend of rejoicing in my ability to trust in God's plan and forgiving/ feeling peace with some hard issues going on right now, one of those very issues I had thought resolved attempted to re-initiate the evening I returned home (please don't be worried- my husband and children are amazing and were not involved with this!) In all honesty it was very discouraging. I had planned on sharing my retreat notes to encourage Paul, and instead found myself sobbing on his shoulder. 

But the amazing thing is those notes, and my memories, are still here. The enemy wasn't in control of this situation, God was. I had just spent an entire weekend preparing my heart to endure this storm. Praise God for His sovereignty!!! I wanted to share some (quasi) quotes from my notes that have helped my heart to heal both then and now.  I truly am so thankful God brought Dawn from east to west coast last weekend.

Theme Verse:

Proverbs 3: 5&6 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

Lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct your paths.

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Don't look forward to "what if's": God is telling me to look back! He's brought me through before, He will do it again!

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Be sisters in Christ! Use the resources God has given us and stick together through the storms of life!

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Don't be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.

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"As long as God has given me breath, I will speak the testimony God has given me"

~ Dawn's mother while dying of cancer; on speaking about the murder of her daughter.

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Proverbs 31 Women smile at the future {umm... that's impossible without God!}

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The Forgiveness Process 

{I am so thankful she shared this}

1: Acknowledge the offense-- It happened! Don't "stuff it down".

2: Place judgment-- This was wrong and it hurt me! They deserve my anger! They deserve to be punished!

3: Transfer the judgement to the cross of Christ-- Forgiveness is handing over justice to God and moving on. God is just. Set them free and set yourself free.

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"Resentment turns into a resemblance of the one who hurt you, but grace is the beautiful fragrance released as they crush you under their heel." 

{Am I filled with the sweet aroma of grace, ready to be released anytime?}

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Forgiveness does not remove the pain they caused- it didn't give back Dawn's sister- but healing can start.

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The past might be a part of who you are, but praise God He's not done with you yet.

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The mercy God shows to us is the motivation for the mercy we show others.

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Don't compare yourself to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

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Our background influences who we are, but we have a lot of control over who we will become.

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We control our attitude or our attitude controls us.

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"There is no pit so deep that God's depths are not greater still!"

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{Am I clinging to my hurts because the are my "identity"? Or, in reality, because they get me attention?}

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Lyrics by Dawn's singer/song-writer daughter:

"Dance in the rain, look up at the sky.

Let go of the pain, believe you can fly."

Don't wait for the storm (trial) to pass, it may never pass. Learn to dance in the rain. Enjoy the moment.

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Sometimes you don't really know what to do, and there's nothing you can do. It's then you just have to be, and trust that God will get you through it.

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"Sometimes He lets the wind and waves go wild and holds His child. 

Sometimes He calms the storm, and sometimes He calms His child".

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"When you have accomplished your daily tasks, go to sleep in peace. God is awake." ~Victor Hugo

{I love this quote. I have no reason to lie awake at night- I don't need to be in control of everything! God always is!!!}


Thanks for sticking with me, I know that was long! My heart was so filled with these words though, I wanted to make them available to anyone who might also need them.

Praising God for His magnificent promises!!!

These are a few of my favorite things...

My New Jacket

Ok, I'm so proud of myself I just had to share! We have a Gap Visa and get kickback money to Gap for the $ we occasionally spend on it. So every couple of months I get to treat myself to an *almost* free new something. This time around it was a charcoal-grey corduroy jacket.

It. Goes. With. Everything. 

I debated quite awhile on this particular purchase. I like the idea of denim jackets but find the associated restriction of movement nightmarish. And I don't like wearing them with jeans... which is all I wear. This alternative looks awesome with light or dark denim, any shirt I've tried under it so far, and is sooo stretchy and comfortable I seriously feel like I'm wearing a zip-front sweatshirt. And it's on sale for less than half it's normal price. And it runs about a size smaller than Gap normally does. And you can find it here http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=65180&vid=1&pid=768469. 

Just in case you wanted to check it out ;)

ReRuns for Kids

I don't know why I've been so snobbish about visiting this store. It could have something to do with some hazy, but unpleasant memories of shopping there with my mother as a child. And when I say "shopping" I, of course, mean driving her up the wall by whining/ begging to leave. Hmmm, why could those memories have turned out unpleasant?

Today, though, was the day. My beautiful 7 month old daughter is now wearing 12-18 month clothing, all of which caters toward summer. When she will BE 12-18 months (did you hear that Briella?).

I decided she needed a denim jacket to go with all her summer dresses, and that I didn't feel like paying $20 for one. Enter: ReRuns for Kids- consignment shop extraordinaire.  We came, we shopped, we conquered.

Children's Place Jersey-Lined Denim Jacket

Originally: $20, Tagged at: $5, I paid: $4

Children's Place Tutu Skirt

Originally: $15, Tagged at: $4, I paid: $2.50

Both were brand new (still had their original tags and stickers), and for some reason were even cheaper than they were tagged at! I'm not sure if this is a normal thing, but I'm really ok with it if it is!

Valentine's Day (Re: My Husband)

I totally feel for those of us who currently hate this holiday, I've been there, but I'm also very pleased that my hubby changed that.

We had our Valentine's date this last Saturday. Five hours of childless bliss :) Paul took me to Belgique, a charming Belgian waffle cafe in the basement of the Reed Opera House. They offer a gluten-free menu, I believe are run by Christians, and just opened a cart in the mall. This place also ranks among my new favorite things. Go there, eat amazing Belgian waffles for $5. Buy their mixes. Don't let them go out of business!!!

Back to our date: we then wandered around the opera house, enjoying the unique shops, and purchased some amazing hand-crafted soap at S.L.A.B. We both wanted to check out Plato's Closet, a consignment shop located near Target off Lancaster, so we did and found some good stuff. Proceeded together to Red Robin, where we consumed two pounds of gluten-free steak fries, and ended our date with coffee at French Press which we drank while walking around the outside of a home we dream of buying. Stalkerish, yes, but it is vacant so I don't feel too bad :)

On Valentine's Day I helped West pick out a balloon and candy for Paul, and then he and I made Daddy a card while Sissy was sleeping. 

Please note: my little Da Vinci matched his color choice to the color of the word "Happy"! I'm so proud :)

And yes, that balloon has seen better days.

Paul returned from work with a bouquet of bright tulips and a chai frosty for me (gone long before the camera was ever thought of), and we all shared homemade Valentine's pizza for dinner. I've said it before, and I'll say it again- love is never more sincerely expressed than when written in chicken and barbecue sauce.

Feeling very thankful today for all that God has blessed me with :)

The Ottoman Project

We recently acquired new couches (for FREE!!!!!!! To be pictured later in this post...) and, in the process of redecorating our living room,  decided that our three long years without a coffee table must come to an end. Unfortunately, I cannot think the words "coffee table" without visualizing my child's temple split open.

Hmmm. A dilemma.

My amazing husband is the one who conjured our wonderful solution: ottomans!!! The search began. Our requirements:

Must provide storage

Must double as a coffee table

Must be easily tucked away when needed

Must provide foot-restige

Must be light beige in color

Must be inexpensive

All of these requirements were met for $20 a piece at Target. Oh, how I love that store! Here is the winning candidate:

Laaaaaaaaa!!!! Even now, I can sense your awestruck wonder! :)

Anyhoo, this darling dear met all our requirements, but outsmarted us on one point- you get what you pay for. The bottom was nothing but cloth covered cardboard. Envision, if you will-

The two year old enters the room, assesses his surroundings, and discovers a new piece of furniture. It's small. It's light-weight and easily maneuvered with a little burly toddler true-grit. It would look magnificent upside-down, and crowned with a small human being....

Umm, yes. It was only a matter of time before our darling dears were in the dumpster. So we got our do-it-yourself on and for and extra $20, made these pieces that will last us a good, long while. Even if they are regularly crowned with little people. 

First, Paul skill-sawed us some studier bases, I painted them black, and we added higher quality sliders to  ensure our beige carpet did not also turn black. I think they look so much nicer!

Next, we went to work on the lids. We wanted them be able to flip and serve as a coffee table of sorts. They almost worked as was (covered in cloth), but I happen to be notorious for tipping over any container of liquid that could possibly touch our carpet. A trait it seems I have passed to both our children. We wanted something more stable.

Originally, I thought we would have to add an additional wood square, like we did underneath. Lucky for me, my husband is brilliant. He (very gently) pointed out that all we had to do was remove the cloth. 

So we removed. 

And we painted. 

And we had our lovely mini-coffee table! No melon-splitting here! Booyah!!!

AND (da da da dum!) our new couches with the finished product!!! 

All our pillows were used with our old couches, but I love them much more with the new. And please note the soft, cozy throw (which I am currently wrapped in)-- scored at Target for $4.99!!!

I'm tempted to share the of the rest of the room, as we moved everything around to compliment our newest additions. But, alas, I'm not finished with them, so you will have to wait ;)

I AM planning a memory wall over the couches, though, inspired by this Pottery Barn link.

Would the bottom display not be divine?

And Mal- totally did not mean to rip off your ottoman post! I had this one in the making as I read yours, and had to giggle that we were riding the same blogging brainwave :)

Halloween thru Christmas

A little late, I'll grant you, but here's a few super-cute highlights of what went on while our camera was out of commission...

 The astronaut and the chili-pepper... I think that sounds like the makings of a great children's story! 

Or not :)

Christmas Party at Great-Grandma Susan's

"Papa Paul" (my grandpa) collects train sets and my grandma collects porcelain houses... 

Westly was in heaven!

 Operating the train all by himself! He was so proud :)

My grandparents have a lot of acreage and have raised llamas and kept horses for years. We always take the kiddos out to visit when we are up there :)

This is Briella's first encounter with an animal of this size! I love her face! It made me dig up a great photo of Westly's first time up here, he wasn't much older than Briella!

 I love these cute pics of my brave boy :)

 Daddy and West playing on the haystack

So there you have it! We DID exist October thru January 2010!!!

Thanks Mom, Dad, Amanda, and April for all your contributions!